Please feel free to make the inference that I am not posting often because:
A. The bedtime routine has somehow taken 15 steps back probably for lots of reasons
1. Teeth. We've had 7 for some time now. Where are the rest? Get here already!
2. Separation Anxiety Stuff. Wow. 'Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!' And lots of panic and screaming.
3. Me going back on my 'let him cry' mantra.
B. The marriage is requiring lots of nighttime drama/talking/arguing/work.
C. I am tired.
So, as noted, sleep has been shaky. And truthfully, it isn't horrid. Just that the fact that we spend the night together on the mattress has made the mattress (on the floor in his room) HIS bed. And if I put him down in his crib he wakes up about an hour later in sheer panic. But if I put him down on the mattress he'll sleep peacefully until I'm there with him. Even now. Through thunder.
We've childproofed the room. Nailed the bookshelf to the wall. We use the baby monitor on high. And he's beyond the age of randomly suffocating on a pillow. Plus when he does wake up...it isn't a secret. He's not the 'play peacefully alone' type. When he's alone he cries, so if he wakes we are right there.
I'm going back and forth. He's comfortable there. He sleeps well there. And I'm not planning on giving up sharing the bed with him when it's my bedtime anytime soon. So. The conundrum. Because only a completely irresponsible parent would let their child sleep on.a.mattress.on.the.floor...alone. Right? No. Wrong. Because it's been done before and it works now and I'm thinking (wish I could trade that crib for a car payment right about now)...if it works I may as well work it.
Also he still wakes for one bottle a night. And I'm skeeeeeered to try and wean it. He gets mad. And I'm tired. So I usually just give in and hand him a bottle. And yes I know all about baby bottle teeth rotting et cetera. If you've had this experience do tell. I'm not brave. I need my beauty sleep.
And fingers crossed so tight the circulation gets cut off this week, people. I've been going through a month worth of interviews for a job I really really want, and I have the last round (I think) on Monday afternoon. Oh PUHLEEEEAZE let me get it. Closer. One hospital. One unit. No meetings. Less politics. Same pay. Flexible hours. (No more bitchy boss). They are interviewing one other person. Pleeeze let me be better. Ack!
Fun things this week?
"Shhhtah. Shhhhtah. Shhhhtah." This was said by my child this week. Along with a foot stomp. It sounds quite similar to a certain explicative I was using. Time to start putting quarters in a jar or something.
I am really a winning example of parenthood.
22 conceptions:
He is just so darn cute. Hope the job works for you-in a happy way for you and sad way for me.
We get quite a few dammits around here.
Much luck on the job front! I hope you get it!!!
And I don't know what the answer to the sleeping is, but I swear - you seem to have found yourself on the most difficult path there is. I hope you can work out a compromise that is safe and pleasant for everyone.
I'm not an overnight bottle person, but if you really want to stick wit it, you could brush/wipe his teeth before he goes back to sleep.
Good luck with the job! And the rest.
Hi!
My baby slept on the mattress, on the floor for a month or two, before my husband put the bed together. She was 13 moths when that happened. We got her full size bed from IKEA. I love it because it is much lower (yes, we have a safety thing on the side anyway). Maybe he just hates his crib?
Alexandra
Delurking to say that it is totally okay to have your kid sleep on a mattress instead of in the crib if that's what works for your kid and for you! The combination of thoroughly babyproofed room, baby who wakes up noisily, and baby monitor all adds up to what I would regard as a totally safe situation, and it's totally pretty common among our parenting friends. (We're the oddballs with the crib sleeping, seriously.)
As for the night weaning. We offered a bottle of water instead. I think there were about three nights of of mad baby, one night of awake but resigned baby, and then he figured out that drama in the middle of the night just kept leading to a cheerfully presented bottle of water, and then he decided that was so not worth waking up for. So, short term unpleasantness in exchange for long term sleeping through the night. Worth it for us!
Good luck with the job!
I say leave him on the mattress. Why fight him to stay in his crib when he may need to transition out of it in a few short months anyway? As someone who's facing the crib-to-bed transition like a deer in the headlights, just consider leaving him on the mattress as a gift to your 2012 self.
good luck with the job!
My son never slept in his crib... he hated that thing with a fiery passion. We transitioned him into a regular mattress on the floor with a side rail. He sleeps well now. So it is done. Hang in there and good luck with the interview! I hope you get the job :)
Thinking of you and really hoping you get this job! It sounds wonderful!
And don't feel bad about the sleeping on a mattress. Think of how easy the transition will be to a toddler bed now. He'll be fine, and hey, we all need our sleep, and if this is what's working, then perfect! :)
I think it is totally fine to let him sleep on a mattress on the floor. Just think of his whole room as his crib, since you've made it as safe as one.
Elizabeth didn't do bottles (apparently she thought they probably contained poison?) but she nursed at night for a long time. Because I do not mess with sleep when it is working. I DO NOT MESS WITH SLEEP WHEN IT IS WORKING. (She's two and a half, still in a sleep sack, still in a crib, no blankets, no pillows. Why screw with someone who finally sleeps all night?)
One of my good friends has her one year old on a mattress on the floor. Childproofed room and all that. And he's perfectly fine. They don't stay in cribs forever, so really you're just one step ahead of the game. Good luck getting that job.
Oh, he's just scrumptious!
As a committed co-sleeper, I think the floor is just fine.
As for the middle of the night bottle, I kept watering down the milk until it was just water. She sleeps through more than half the time, but sometimes she wakes up, has a few sips of water, and goes right back to sleep.
Sorry about the marriage drama. Hope you get that job!
A friend of mine whose mother-in-law is a Montessori teacher had both her girls sleep on a mattress on the floor because that's the Montessori recommended way. The idea being, as I understand it, that when the kid is old enough, he/she can wake up and find themselves something to do without waking the parents because of being stuck in a crib. (This sounds kind of utopian to me, but it makes sense.) So I don't think you need to make any apologies.
Best wishes with the job!
We weaned our son off his nighttime feeding by having him sleep over his Aunt's house. But I suppose it would have been different if it had been a bottle he wanted and not The Boob.
Sleeping on a mattress on the floor is actually the Montessori recommendation. You're not being irresponsible, you're giving him the freedom to explore the beauty of his surroundings as soon as he wakes up!
the sleep will work itself out. seriously. every kid is different. and every kid-parent relationship is different. i have no advise. :)
i really hope you get the job! fingers crossed over here!! :)
xx
I have twin boys that slept on a mattress on the floor from about 14months till they were 3. We didnt even have a dresser in the room, just a closet that we bungied closed. It was a true rubber room :) but it was the only way to keep them safe, they climbed out of their cribs super early and even a tent wouldnt keep them in. They were good sleepers thank god. Hang in there!
I really enjoyed the book Bedtiming which talked about how development and sleep work together to drive us crazy just when we think we know what we're doing. They believe it's not so much how you sleep-train but when, if at all, but mostly that this too, shall pass. It was either there or AskMoxie where I read about progressively watering down the bottle until you know it's no longer needed. Good luck with the job!
I'm with everyone else that says "do what works for you". I have a handful of friends who do the mattress on the floor thing, it seems to work well for them, and I have always guessed that we'd follow suit when our time comes.
Oh yes, I taught, accidentally, my best friends little one how to say "Oh Sh*t". It slipped out of my mouth in a sentence, and she pulled it out and started repeating. I was mortified, but couldn't help laughing, which was so totally the wrong thing to do and only encouraged her to keep repeating the offending words. Crap. Good luck with that!
I say, whatever gets you sleep - go for it! As long as it's not dangerous, and it sounds like it isn't.
And... so funny about the quarter jar!
HOPE you get the job!!!
Very cute little boy! I also say just go with what works. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor is fine as long as the room is safe. I hope you get the job, and good luck figuring out the marriage. Probably all the stress of a little one doesn't help. I'm glad your working on it. Heather
Good luck with the job interview.
And your guy is one year old now - if sleeping on a mattress works for both of you, I (with all my experience of zero babies) say go for it.
Oh my God. So relate to all of it. On top of the exhaustion, the clinginess, the marriage crap... we are moving. Yes, packing with a cranky 13 month old sucks. Our sleep situation is just as dire. Except, I feed her all night long. I keep envisioning sitting in the dentist chair with her screaming when she's three because all her teeth (she ony has two now) are rotted from all the night drinking. But, I too am tired.
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