Have you ever suddenly been transported back in time? I'm only asking because yesterday, before going to sleep, a memory seeped into my mind. I'm not sure where it came from. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I was thinking about a particularly tense meeting I had at work yesterday.
The meeting wasn't horrid. It wasn't traumatic. I presented some data and made some suggestions for improvement, and the usual events followed. The numbers were questioned. The situations were defended. The 'if it ain't broke why try to make it even better' card was pulled for the umpteenth time. I felt my blood pressure rising, my chest and neck flushed red, and I did as I have learned to do in those situations; leave my mouth shut. It didn't end badly, we are going to trial one of my suggestions next week, but still. I don't like my data to be questioned.
As I lay in bed last night, cool sheets pulled up to my chin, fan whirring above my head, thoughts raced endlessly through my mind. Did I include only those that met the criteria? Did I evaluate for age? I should have been more thorough. I should know not to leave any room open for questions. I should have been more prepared.
You see, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I beat myself up relentlessly. I want to do things the right way the first time. I play by the rules. I follow the directions.
Thus the time travel flashback. Suddenly I was five years old again; sitting in my kindergarten class. Our kindergarten class had a little learning theme for the alphabet. Every week we would be visited by a new letter; Mr. A, Mrs. B, Mr. C...and so on and so forth. These were not just 'letters'. These were people dressed up in costumes of the letters; which was quite impressive to my 5-year-old brain. As far as I was concerned this was the letter himself, coming to visit me personally.
This day, was the day of Mr. M's visit, and I was so excited to meet him. Mr M. was a large purple letter, and I couldn't wait to line up in the back hall where he would go down the line greeting all the students. Oh the thrill of it all!
That morning, as we all sat around the table, the teacher handed out coloring pages of Mr. M. My eyes widened as I looked at that black and white coloring page, and then to the jar of colorful crayons only an arms length in front of me. I reached out for the purple crayon in order to start coloring in my hero of the day - whom I would meet in a matter of hours!
"Murgdan!"...."What are you doing?"
....coloring. on my coloring page.
"Did I give you directions to start coloring? You aren't following directions. Look around. No one else is coloring. I didn't give the instructions yet. You have to learn to follow directions. You have to wait for instruction."
My punishment? I was forced to hand over my coloring sheet and I wasn't allowed to meet Mr. M. I had to wait in the classroom by myself crying while all the other kids went to meet him. I remember this like it was yesterday. I was humiliated. Embarrassed. Heartbroken...My crime? Coloring. Can you imagine? A 5-year-old girl...coloring? Quite deserving of punishment, yes?
The incredible thing is that I am sure that teacher thought she was teaching me an important lesson about following directions. Indeed, I now follow the 'rules' obsessively. I hesitate before jumping into things. I am by the book to the point of exhaustion. Do I blame my kindergarten teacher for all my life woes? Absolutely not. That would be silly. But I wonder if it was really necessary to dole out what would become such a harsh memory in order to 'teach me a lesson'?
I'm not scarred for life or anything, and there are worse evils in the world than not getting to meet a large foam letter. I just find it incredible that such small seemingly meaningless minutes in our lives can impact us forever. I shared this with some friends today, and they too had childhood 'traumas' that shaped them....I'm sure we all have a Mr. M in the closet somewhere.
It felt good to laugh about it today.
And to my kindergarten teacher, where ever you are....
I was fucking five years old. You gave me a coloring page and a jar of crayons and didn't tell me to wait...what the hell did you think I was going to do? Thanks for squashing my creative spirit.
Do you have a Mr. M lesson you can laugh about today?
28 conceptions:
Ok, first off, did you go to school in Nazi Germany?
(I totally would have been the overeager colorist, too)
=)
I have many Mr. M moments.
My favorite one was when I participated in a big No-No: RUNNING IN CLASS.
In first grade, one of my classmates and I decided that we would race to see who could get to their desk first after recess. I sprinted into the classroom and made a beeline for my seat. But I slipped. And I fell. And the side of my face collided with my desk. Before I even had time to react, my teacher was running with me down the hall to the nurse's office, clutching my left ear.
It seems I had completely split open my left earlobe. Long story short, I ended up having it stitched up by a plastic surgeon (because my pediatrician was afraid he's leave a big scar....and ALL little girls want earrings on perfect lobes [still, to this day, my ears aren't pierced]...so yeah).
Anyway (I'll wrap this up), the next day, when I went back to school, my teacher made me stand in front of the entire class and share my awful stitches-in-the-ear experience, and remind the boys and girls that you DO NOT RUN IN CLASS.
I was super embarrassed.
Nowadays. I watch my step, very carefully. And I never ran in class again.
The end.
Shit, M. As a teacher, I want to reach back into time and bitch slap your teacher. That was a HEAVY punishment for such a small "crime," not that I think you did anything wrong.
I still can't laugh at it but I definitely had a Mr. M moment.
My third grade teacher liked to have pity parties if you did something wrong. (!!!???) She would make you stand in front of the class and encourage the entire class to go "AWWWWWWW!" in a mocking tone. Totally screwed up.
I had two pity parties that year - once for accidentally sewing my part of the quilt we were making for a nursing home to my shirt and once for doodling on a classmates paper that I was "grading." I still doodle when I'm listening to other people speak - helps me focus somehow.
I was already a shy child and you can bet that those pity parties made my shyness even worse. I've battled for years to not blush (and I'm talking the dark red blushing that makes everyone stop and go "WOAH! Look how red you are!" which of course, makes it even worse, thankyouverymuch.)whenever I'm the center of attention and to this day I HATE getting up in front of crowds. Do I blame those things specifically on that hellish year of elementary school? Not completely - but you can bet that that teacher did not help matters in anyway.
I still hold a grudge against her and I'm 30 now.
Jeez, it's freakin' kindergarden forchristsake! I would dress up as Mr. M and come visit you at work if you wanted to Meet Me :)
Honestly, I never had a true Mr. M moment when I was little but I do remember getting thrown out of class in high school because my teacher thought I was the one talking and it was the person next to me.
I think both your teacher and Carrie's teacher need to be bitch slapped even now.
I'm so sorry your kindergarten teacher was such a bitch. That is just terrible. You did NOTHING wrong!
My Mr. M moment happened in second grade. My class joined with another class for some stupid science lesson. 5 of us were singled out to find things in the classroom that were made of certain materials. My assigned material was pine. As in the wood. I couldn't find anything in the room that I could be sure was made of pine (I was already a perfectionist).
I had to stand up in front of two classes of kids, half of them strangers, and tell the strange, mean teacher that I had failed. She made me feel like a total piece of shit for not trying hard enough. I was the only one who didn't find my assigned material.
I still hold a grudge against that bitch. I was already shy, and that made me feel so self conscious and full of anxiety whenever I had to stand in front of the class from then on. For years, it made me think I was bad at "science" which is funny, because I am now a biologist.
Wow- I'm a kindergarten teacher and just about every kid colors before being given the direction at least ONCE, for cryin' out loud. You made me think about who, 30 years from now, is going to be chewing me out online. :) I promise, if you were in my class I would still let you color and still let you meet Mr. M.
First of all, I totally relate to being a "rules girl."
My Mr. M moment occured in 5th grade. The teacher, Mrs. Doherty, stepped out of the room, and somehow we began talking about making paper airplanes. I'm an expert paper airplane maker, so I made one to show my friends. Being a "rules girl" I did not fly it. But, Mrs. Doherty saw it and I was punished. My punishment was actually pretty clever - I had to make 50 paper airplanes and write an essay. Still makes me mad though - and she never gave me back my Little House on the Prairie book!
A whole host of chocolate batter-based cookies are on the agenda. He's still trying to get the flavor and consistency just *perfect,* and when he does there will be 3-4 new cookies hitting the menu. I think you'll most like the one we call "The Devil Made Me Do It." It's a Devil's food chocolate cookie with chocolate chips and chocolate drizzle. :o)
Aagh, can I bitchslap your teacher too? For crying out loud. Honestly.
When I was in 6th grade my mother forgot it was a Friday in Lent and packed me a bologna sandwich. I was terribly upset. My best friend invited me home to her house for lunch - a short walk away - and the teacher tried to get hold of my mom but couldn't, so she told me I just had to eat the sandwich. My friend said just come home with her anyway, so we walked out and lo and behold, my mom was driving by and I got her permission. So later the teacher asked me if I ate lunch and I said yes, I saw my mom in front of the school and she said it was OK to go to D's house. Well, the teacher FREAKED out and screamed at me in front of the entire 6th grade (we had open space classrooms), telling me they were responsible for me and I was not allowed to leave "campus" unless they told me to, no matter what. It felt like she yelled for five minutes. Everyone in the entire grade was staring.
I still hate her :)
I barely remember being 5, although I'm sure I had my own Mr. M moments; the one most clear and still painful to me is actually from college. I had to do a debate for ethics class, as in I had to pick a side whether I agreed with it or not. In my case, I did agree with my side, passionately, and the professor made me look stupid and made me cry in front of the entire lecture hall. Teachers don't always seem to realize the impact they have on young lives, do they?
Oh my G-D! You are me, I am you. Can't even discuss my Mr. M event because it makes me too upset. Yes, over 20 years later, I still turn red and feel my eyes burn with tears of shame and rage. Some people suck so much.
I didn't have many moments, because I was good at school. But, my 3 older sisters and I all went to the same elementary school. My 2nd grade teacher and the 7th grade teacher were buddies and would send notes to each other (via 2nd grader courier) during the day. One day, I was sent up to the 7th grade class, and when I went in the door, the 7th grade teacher says "Oh, it's a little OURLASTNAME!" Now, for the full effect of this you have to imagine it in your most annoyingly nasal drawl (think Roz from Monsters, Inc.) So, then I got a whole class of 7th graders staring at little 2nd grade me. Great.
As a teacher, I hope to never have done this to anyone. If I think I may have gone about something wrong, I talk it out with that kid.
My moment came in college drama. This great teacher humiliated me. I am still pissed off.
As a teacher myself now I am so aware of how my words and actions are perceived by kids. Your teacher did sound mean. That's quite a consequence.
My second grade teacher was a bitch! She had it out for me. I was the perfect little student too. She found reasons to be mean. One day I loaned my leftover lunch money to the boy who sat next to me. My teacher caught me and scolded me in front of the class and told me it wasn't my money to give away-it was my mother's and she'd be mad (yeah right). I got my "name on the board" for the first time ever. I was so humiliated. Maybe that is why I am so stingy and rarely loan people money.
I can't think of one of those moments right now, but what a b of a teacher! I don't think I've ever given such a harsh consequence!
Yeah, I have a Mr M... or rather, her names was Mrs Green... each time I went to her (over the period of a week) & told her my tummy hurt, she sent me to the toilet & told me to take a dump... 5 days later my appendix burst inside me & 20 odd years later I discovered that my shitty emergency appendix op ruined my fertility.
So thanks Mrs Green!
OMG - your teacher sounds like a Nazi! Seriously did she even like children???? I have met many of those types of teachers that Im sure didnt even like kids. Now as a teacher I vowed to be the complete opposite of teachers like that.
My own moment came on brownies camp when I was 7 yrs old. The head brown owl asked us to come up and get our deserts. I was sitting on a table right at the back so we didn't hear her clearly we got up and walked to the canteeen. She just started yelling at us 'I didn't tell you to come up! You are all so greedy go back to your table!' I remember her roaring. She didn't even give us a chance to explain. I was so traumatised by her anger that I spent the rest of the camp in bed and refused to come out!
Hiya
My Mr M moment was Mrs Jackson, Aurora Primary School (Grade 4).
I was 9 years old and very polite good student. We'd been having these spelling tests where the teacher would say the word and we'd write it down. Simple, no?
Anyway I missed school for a day and when I went back it was time for a spelling test, I took out my test book and sat there, pen in hand, looking expectant. The teacher then said "Go!" and suddenly everyone was busy writing things down and I had no idea what was going on.
Apparently the new (ultra-dumb) way was that you looked at the word in the back of the book and then wrote the word in the front of the book.
When it was discovered that I was completely lost, she proceeded to tell the whole class and another teacher what had happened and that it was so typical of me. I was top of class so this probably wasn't typical at all. I can still hear the words in my head 21 years later.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!!
in 8th grade my math teacher told me i wasn't smart enough to go to the accelerated math program for 9th grade. i was pissed. she only told two kids out of our whole class.
since that time we both forced ourselves into the accelerated program, and finished in the top 5% of our class. i now have a phd and he is a lawyer. i so want to go back and tell her how she almost took all of that from me. and if i wouldn't have been as pushy maybe i wouldn't be where i am today.
funny thing? i had lunch with the kid last month and we both still complained about her!!
in 8th grade my math teacher told me i wasn't smart enough to go to the accelerated math program for 9th grade. i was pissed. she only told two kids out of our whole class.
since that time we both forced ourselves into the accelerated program, and finished in the top 5% of our class. i now have a phd and he is a lawyer. i so want to go back and tell her how she almost took all of that from me. and if i wouldn't have been as pushy maybe i wouldn't be where i am today.
funny thing? i had lunch with the kid last month and we both still complained about her!!
Well I'm glad that you managed to meet Mr M eventually (I thought about counting the number of M's you used in that last post they realise it would seem a little creepy and obsessive).
So many Mr M moments but I try and blank them, remembering them for this comment would reduce me to a quivvering wreck.
Murgdan you are so funny. I got done for fidgeting at school by Sister E - with the result that coming up to my wedding when I badly needed to deflabbage, my personal trainer suggested that my flab may be a result of my "physical placidity". Jesus. Damned if you do; Fat if you don't xxx
It is amazing the impact such a thing can have on us. If people only realized the affect they can make in a child's life, good or bad. Love this story! Thanks for sharing.
Wow. I am piling onto the "bitch-slap your K teacher" bandwagon. Damn...Don't give a 5 year old crayons if you don't expect them to color!
Excuse me while I go worship my son's kindergarten teacher, who is an absolutely gifted educator.
I have a bevy of stories, but my favorite one was the 7th grade math teacher who commented on the chub below my prematurely developing breasts--"she's the only girl in the class with two bosoms". Inappropriate much?
Whoa, that teacher was a be-otch.
That reminded me of the first grade. I was at this school that had a rule that said that if you leave class to use the potty three times in a week, you lost recess privileges.
I was on two strikes already, and I tried to hold it in. I didn't want to lose my recess privileges! I was five. Needless to say, I couldn't hold it in. So. Freakin'. Embarrassing. All the kids stared, and laughed, and the teacher just sent me to the principals office.
I was sent home, and I lost my recess privileges anyway.
But seriously, what kind of rule is that? Telling a 5 year old kid you'll get punished if you have to pee too much? Give me a break!
Oh wow...my Mr. M. was in kindergarten, too. I was building a block tower with my friend Paul and it started tipping over so I yelled out for him to catch it.
Time froze, the lights blinked on and off, kids paused in midair as my teacher screeeeeeeched at me to sit down in the naughty chair. Or whatever it was called. I was so humiliated, and already kind of a shy kid.
PS. I remember the real Mr. M, too, he had a "munching mouth", remember? We must have had the same curriculum ;)
In first grade, my teacher said that she had had it and we were all to line up in the back of the room. She was going to borrow Mrs. K's paddle and we were all going to get it. -Mrs. K was a teacher who kept a paddle hanging outside of her door.- In the back of the room, 25 first graders cried and wimpered.
I thought I was going to throw up. I was a very quiet girl who never even raised my hand to answer questions. So both teachers come in with the paddle and my teacher says "Who is first?" We cry. And then she says "April Fools Day!" I was stunned. I HATE that so called holiday to this day. I think about it every year. I do not play pranks on anyone! And since I am an elementary teacher I remember that little kids can have big memories.
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