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While I find our ball problem fairly annoying, there are balls that I find even more irritating than the mildly spermy wonders.
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There are balls that annoy me even more than neuticles. Neuticles, in case you aren't familiar, are testicle implants for animals. That's correct; if you get Scruffy neutered you don't need to lose sleep over his damaged self-esteem. You can purchase testicle implants. These can be purchased for cats, dogs, horses, and bulls. You can google that on your own, I don't want Neuticles thanking me for sending several hundred clicks over to peruse their (rather interesting) site.
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The most annoying balls ever in history made their debut a few years ago. The first time I saw them I was amused in that jaw-dropped-open-nose-crinkled-up-nuh-uh-he-didn't kind of way. I imagine these balls only exist in the United States. It is also likely that they only exist in the South. While sitting in traffic on the highway today, I was parked behind a pair of these annoying balls for at least twenty minutes.
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I give you...Truck.Nuts.
.
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Really. Necessary. Why?
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I think the human race is really headed downhill. I'm left shaking my head even now. How does one feel good about hanging a plastic scrotum from the rear bumper of their car?
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And what happens if you're rear-ended in a car accident?
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And do you think Truck.Balls boost sperm counts? Cause if so you'll be seeing a Toyota Camry around town sporting a large sack pretty soon. Hell, maybe I'll even get a pair.
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Disgusting. Just disgusting.
74 conceptions:
I know you'd like to think they only exist in the South, but I saw a pair on a truck in New England.
The realism is the freaky part. That, and the mindset that says this kind of decoration is okay.
I can report at least a few hear in The North.
It was ball central over here too. I was listening to NPR and first they were inseminating pigs, then they talked about a woman who harvested her dead husbands sperm. THEN they featured a girl born through IUI with donor sperm. She had two parents and still felt compelled to search for her bio-dad.
Why I did not put a cd on, I can't tell you. HOW FAB TO BE ABLE TO RELATE TO A PIG IN A WHOLE NEW WAY. THANKS NPR.
Dude, they totally exist here in the North too.
Ick?
Those are just horrendous. I wish I had something clever to say, but I'm too grossed out. And a little annoyed.
Sorry to say they are here in Montana too... the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. I've seen them in red, blue, and chrome...
I like them about as much as I like women b*&^#ing about being prego "again" and "we really didn't want another one"... Each time I want to scream shut the f*&( up and give me your kid if it is that big of a deal.
When you see those dingle dangles off a truck, you just have to wonder:
1. Is someone overcompensating?
Or
2. Do they want their ass kicked?
I haven't figured out if it is 1, 2or both!
I blush and gag at the same time, every single time I see those horrid things. My question - what do their mothers think when they pull up at the house for Thanksgiving with those things dangling in the driveway?
Wrong. Just wrong.
If you roll up to dinner next week with truck nuts on the camry I might literally die laughing...
There is something about truck balls which reminds one of the first 10 or so minutes of Idiocracy, no?
I just saw a truck with those last week - what's the world coming to????
I live in PA and have seen many pairs of those disgusting things dangling off of trucks ... so they arent just in the south =) The blue seems to be PA's favorite.
Wow implants ... really? This company couldn’t put efforts into creating prosthetics for kids or wounded soldiers’? they make ball implants for animals. Society is going to hell in a hand basket
All my house needs is another pair of useless balls.
OMG... I so did not need to see that and I hope I do not see any in the coming days.
I think I will look at the icky neighbor than balls hanging off a truck.
I can not STAND those! They are so tacky!
I wonder if you buy them in the nut sack aisle?!??! LOL! That is just gross.
Sadly, here in Texas, these things are on like every other truck. It's so gross... sorry you had to be exposed to them! :(
Just saw blue ones the other day here in the Pacific Northwest.
When I see them, I assume the person driving has an IQ less than 70, and I stay far, far away.
"Maybe if I put balls on my truck, people with actually think I have a pair!"
I've seen them in California, and think gross every time!
There are rednecks everywhere so there must be truck balls everywhere...or should we call them bumper balls?
I hate to inform that these ridiculous ornaments of dangling grossness exist up here in Alberta, Canada as well. Of course, we are in 4x4 truck country up here, so I'm not really surprised. Like a huge monstrous truck isn't trying to compensate for something...they need to emphasize that with these stupid things.
You know what we need, truck ovaries. We could have regular and with cysts.
Also, I am semi-mortified that I spelled "here" as "hear".
it's called compensation. haha!
i have to admit... in florida... especially central florida, they are everywhere... i'm heading out to our RE this morning where on a normal trip we'll probably encounter at least 25 pairs of truck nuts.
sad really...
Hahahahaha! I have to agree, I don't get the point!
Satto's comment is a riot.
I remember the time I saw my first pair of truck balls. It took me forever to figure out what they were - and then I was totally horrified and amused all at the same time. I mean, imagine the mentality it takes to put truck balls on your truck. I mean, first the guy has to buy them. Then he has to figure out the logistics of hanging them on his truck - I picture him standing there, cradling the truck balls in his hand while figuring out where to put them. And then to actually drive a vehicle with truck balls dangling from it.
Eew...haha! I've seen those more than I care to, but never flesh toned. Yikes! I do love the attention to detail, tho, the way one hangs a bit lower than the other. Think I should hang a vagina off the back of my Mountaineer? Or maybe put a couple boobies on the front grill?
Deary Me..
I can't believe anyone would be that stupid.
THANKFULLY.
I am yet to see any of these where I live in the wonderful world of oz.....
They are so saggy...it makes me sad.. and grossed out.. and quite glad that I'm kinda sorted gay.. haha
Wow. I've never been so happy to be behind the times. I have not yet seen this phenomenon in the Midwest.
You just made my day with that picture. I'm not kidding!!!
Ewww. Its the flesh color that really gets me. Ugh.
Gotta love the South. I have definitely not seen that in the urban Midwest.
I've seen these as well driving around Ohio. The five year old nephew was the first to point them out to me... "Look Minta, that truck has balls! Can Uncle G's truck get balls?!?!?!?" Must be a boy thing.
Minta
http://lifefamilysanity.wordpress.com
Haha!!! Definitely is not only occuring in the South. We have them here in Indiana too. I agree, what is the exact purpose of this? Are they trying to overcompensate for something they really don't have?
Oh...and have you seen the blue ones yet?? Yuck!!
I can report the truck balls have found their way to SD too.
I can't think of a more pathetic accessory for a truck...And when you think about it on a scale basis...they're really really tiny in comparison to the truck...not only insulting to everyone who has to see, but insulting to the truck ;)
Oh yes, they are rampant here in Central FL. I've seen flesh-toned, red, blue, and chrome. I hate them, but I've noticed lately that I have a growing desire to follow the truck home, then go back under cover of night to spray paint the balls lavender and cover them in glittery, flowery fairy-type stickers. Would that be wrong?
And what happens if you're rear-ended in a car accident?
The truck won't ever have any progeny!
Seriously? This is our statement as a society? Truck Nuts?? I thought it was bad before but this is scary.
Seriously? This is our statement as a society? Truck Nuts?? I thought it was bad before but this is scary.
Oh my gosh. Seriously laughing hard right now. I'm a yankee and haven't had the privilege of seeing these hanging from a truck, and I would be fine if I never do. Gosh some people are just bizarre! Thanks for sharing though. :-D
Oh. My. Gosh.
That is all.
Speaking of balls- I though you might find this interesting.
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1909164,00.html
Oh...my. I'm actually shocked and bewildered that I HAVEN'T seen such a vision in my neck of the woods! Unbelievable. So you don't think Germans are cruising the autobahn in their BMWs, Mercedes and SmartCars with balls 'a swinging! ;-)
Sadly, seeing truck balls is a common thing here in Nebraska. They're usually on a truck with really big tires being driven by some tool wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and sporting a barbed wire tattoo around his arm.
GROSS!
A few sightings in rural New England, too. Ick.
Oh how I hate these gross display of "man-hood". But I am with you, if it would boost sperm count our Camry would sport a pair too.
We live in a tiny TX town and see those around here too, can't stand them! Just gross.
I wonder if I can get a pair of ovaries to hang from the back end of my convertible? Perhaps a few fallopian tubes to hold them into place?
Well, when your vehicle is your phallic stand-in, you must decorate appropriately. I always pity the guys with the souped up, jacked up, muffler-less trucks: You just know that they're sporting equipment that is likely on the petit side.
just gross. really.
Definately in Canada, and definately just as disgusting. Seriously - not even necessary.
Those are so awful! Why?! I don't get it either.
Ahhh Truck Nuts. Here in WV we have seen lots of these things. Our first sighting was on the Inerestate and my 10 year old niece wanted to know what was on that truck in front of us!
What's next, how about Car Cocks?What about Mini-Van Mammaries?
I HATE those things too! Totally gross!
Funny post. I worked as a vet tech a while back and yes, I've seen several pairs of neuticals. Mostly on animals whose owners were freakin' nuts (no pun intended). The truck balls are just down right disgusting. I've never seen the pink one's only the silver or chrome ones. Ugh, what are people thinking? Maybe it's b/c they are lacking in size, so they feel the need to show off some huge ones on their truck, who knows.
I think they were seriously invented to taunt all us MF infertiles and remind us of our inadequacies. If only they would work like you said though, I'd totally sport them on my PT Cruiser and gross other people out for a change.
We saw some here in California a few weeks ago, and my husband (who already vents about giant trucks, giant SUVs, the guys who drive them, and what it says about their anatomy) made some comment about how that was not only proving his point, but at least these men seem to now be aware of their attempt to overcompensate.
Seriously though, you're right. Disgusting.
Here in SA we have a rugby team called the Blue Bulls and Bulls supporters hang BLUE BALLS from their cars and trucks! With realistic veins and all - I don't get it but clearly they do ;)
xxx
Haha- I love that you never know what you are going to get when you open your blog. Thanks for always keeping things entertaining!!!
oh how I WISH those were restricted to the deep southern US... but alas, it is not so- and I have had the pleasure of staring at many, many sets of "truck balls"... the first pair was horrific- and identical to those in your picture... the second pair I saw were BLUE- oh yes.. some smart ass thought it'd be the height of hilarity to put BLUE BALLS on his truck... /sigh
What is this world coming to??
Really? I have never seen such a thing and I hope I never do in person. So not necessary!
Sadly, being in the South, I see them all too frequently. I don't know what is worse - the person who came up with them or the person who buys them.
I can just picture a room full of rednecks and one of them saying, "Hey! I've got an idea!"
Who'd a thought truck nuts would exist? Gotta be a guy invention.. give their truck the manliness they wish they had!
That is just crazy!
I hate those stupid balls! There are a bunch of trucks that have them around here (Colorado).. unfortunately.
I hate to even admit it. Please don't judge me by the stupid men with nut sacs on their truck!!
Yuk. I don't think they have made it over the pond. Yet.
Oh.my.gosh. Ew. I have never seen those before.
A pair exist in my neck of the woods. How do I know? Cause I bought a blue pair for my husband. Of course they are NOT ON HIS VEHICLE (eww!), but it was pretty dang funny to watch him open it.
Teehee, "blue balls". Hehe.
I got to see the INSIDE of my hubbys balls once. Let's just say its NOT a good idea to have..er...relations a few days after a nut procedure. Woosh!
Wow - one of the many reasons I don't miss owning a car (or truck)
OMG-Gross. I was just imagining on FB but this is just to weird for words. My mind could not go here. On this note, I better go to bed. When I wake up, I might have this picture our of my mind. I do not think I will tell anyone I am from Georgia anymore.
I have lived in France for seven and a half years now, and totally forgotten some of the things about growing up in Texas that have always made me cringe... ew!
I have been a lurker until now, in the dregs of IF hell as well.
I just had to comment about the balls. I am in MI and on my commute I often see a female that has them on her pickup truck....scary!!!
Nah, they are everywhere. I kinda think they are funny.
*ducks*
it gets worse, a truck with the offending balls was parked in my neighborhood, and a neighbors child who didnt know better was over there smacking them "mom what are these?" horrible
I want a pair or those for my bike.
I HATE those things! And, unfortunately, we have them in the north too. Ugh. Compensating, perhaps?
I'm from Texas...if I spent enough time back home I'm sure I'd have seen some since they sound all the rage. Agreed. Just disgusting.
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