....for the worst. No more waiting. Results are in.
Negative.
The RE and Embryologist will meet to discuss my case this week.
All that work....and that's that.
Fuck.
Welcome to Conceive This!
About Me
- 'Murgdan'
- I'm 34. I've been married for 8 years. We've been trying to get knocked up since Summer 2007 (and have succeeded!). We have 'oligoastenoteratozoospermia', otherwise known as 'Severe Male Factor Infertility'...also known as 'Super Crappy Sperm'.
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Followers
144 conceptions:
I'm so sorry, Murgdan. I hope they have some answers for you. Take care of yourself and know that I (and a lot of other people)am thinking of you.
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now. Take Care of Yourself.
I am blowing raspberries at those uncooperative embryos...
I hope that the docs have something constructive to tell you. So sorry.
Oh Murgdan, I am so sorry. :-( I've been to your blog no short of 20 times today just to find out.
I know there is nothing I, or anyone else can probably say to make you feel better, but I'm going to try anyway. You know that your husband's sperm fertilize your eggs, and you know your eggs are fertilizable and of good quality. This means that it WILL happen. It WILL.
Please know that I'm thinking of you.
I am so sorry. I don't know what you're going through, all I can say is I'm thinking of you and I'm just so sorry. (((HUGS)))
I'm so sorry, Murgdan. This sucks big time. I hate these results. I know you've spent so much time, energy and money on this. I'm thinking about you and hope this time passes quickly. Be nice to yourself! Hugs!
I am so sorry sweetie.
I'm really, really sorry. :(
I'm sorry. I was so sure it was gonna work for you the first time. :(
I am so sorry. Are you (me, all of us) ever going to get to catching a f-ing break?
I am so sorry...negative betas suck! why can;t they just perfect this already huh...they can grow embryo's in a dish...why not a whole 9 months of pregnancy!
I'm SO sorry. That's really hard.
((HUGS))
I'm so sorry for your bad news!
i am very very sorry :( *sigh*
I'm so sorry. :( Loads and loads of luck and dust and whatever you want/need for the next cycle. I wish it had been better news.
{{{HUGS}}} I'm so sorry hun. You're in my thoughts.
Shit. I'm sorry. :(
I am so so sorry! Hugs to you.
oh crap... words aren't really enough, I'm so very sorry :(
I am so sorry. We are thinking about you during this hard time.
Damn! Damn! Damn! Fuck! - If I were there, I'd be mixing you up a mighty strong cosmo.
Shit hole.
I'm so sorry. That just sucks, to say the least. Many, many hugs.
I'm so sorry, Murdgan.
Oh Murgdan that really sucks. I was really hoping that some good luck would find you. I can't imagine how decimated you feel right now. I hope that you find some answers. Thinking of you.
delurking to say I'm so sorry. That really sucks and is so unfair! Hope you get some answers soon.
Oh no...I am sorry, so sorry. There are few things in life that suck worse than an IVF BFN. Sending you big hugs and hoping you get some answers...
:( :(
That sucks hairy donkey balls.
I'm so sorry.
i dont know what to say other than, i am sorry. very very sorry.
I'm sorry. I was so hopeful this cycle would work. {{HUGS}}
Just really shitty
Im so sorry !. xx
Sweetie...oh goodness. My heart is just aching for you. I hate to sound SO cliche..but I know exactly what you are feeling right now--I wish I could take that literal ache in your heart away. Please know I am here for you...emailing you right now. (HUG)
Fuck indeed. I'm so sorry. This really sucks.
Fuck. I'm so sorry. This sucks ass. Everything looked so good too. It's just not fair.
Damn. I was rooting for you. I'm so sorry.
In tears. I'm so sorry, Murgdan.
Shit.
I'm so sorry.
Mo
Sweetie - Im so sorry...
Im cheering you on still - and Im so sorry for this!
Damn.
I'm so sorry hun.
I know I already said this, but I am so sorry. This blows big ones. I will drink a cosmo and curse IF with you this evening. ((HUGS))
A failed IVF is like a punch in the face. I'm so sorry it turned out this way for you. ((Hugs))
Fuck! :-( Go get that bottle of wine!!!
I'm so sorry. I know the pain well after four failed IVFs. I had such high hopes for you because everything went so well. Just cling to your DH, that's all you can do.
I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say. Really, really sorry.
Damn, damn, damn...I am so sorry Murgdan. That completely blows.
I'm so sorry, sweetie. This just blows.
I am so sorry girl. I'll be thinking about you today
shit. that sucks.
i'm so sorry :(
I'm really sorry. Big hugs to you and your husband at this difficult time. It just plain sucks.
That sucks, well it more than sucks really, but I have no words strong enough. Sorry.
This sucks. Well dammitalltohellandback. I am sorry.
That stinks! So sorry... Hope your day gets better.
Damn, honey.
I am so sorry.
I really, really hoped you would have beginner's luck.
I sincerely believe that success will come to you, but that's little consolation today. Failure is just SO unfair-- everyone who goes through IVF should get a baby, period. Sucks to the 100th power.
Sending you a big hug--do your best to hang in there. With a cosmo or six, if necessary.
:(
Shit.
so sorry. big, big hugs to you.
I'm so sorry Murgdan, that really blows.
S X
I'm really sorry, I was so hoping it was going to work for you and you were gonna be one of those bitches.
I am so very sorry.
Thinking of you.
Fuck.
Damn, that truly sucks. This has not been a good month, and I was so wishing you'd pull off a BFP. I'm so sorry. Be good to yourself.
:(
:(
Shit. I really thought you were going to get good news. Then again I thought I was too. My radar is clearly FUBAR.
I'm sorry. Do enjoy your cosmo - I'll be thinking of you as I sip my Lillet. :(
Oh, hon! I'm so sorry! Just sucks!
so, so sorry :( Thinking of you..
Fuck. I am so sorry. I really think you will get there but I'm sorry it wasn't this time xxx ps: get drunk; do whatever it takes to just get you through these weeks. It does get easier xxx
Oh crap - i am so upset for you. That fucking sucks. I am so sorry. Thinking of you....x
I'm so sorry.
I am so, so sorry. With such beautiful embryos I just knew they would stick around.
I hope the docs are able to give you some answers, although I'm sure the only answers you want are the ones that nobody has.
It sucks ass that you are going through this. If you need anything, I'm here.
I am so sorry.... {{hugs}}
My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry. I don't understand things like this. Many {{hugs}}
I am so sorry. I was there on April 28th, getting the same damn freakin' word....Negative. Fuck is right. All that work, for nothing, is right. I'm so sorry. What you feel today however, will be better in a few days - just hang in there, have some good cries, scream, punch something and work thru the grief. I'm three weeks out from the dreaded freakin' Negative....and I will admit I'm feeling better, most positive and more optimistic that it will happen next time hopefully. Be happy you have frozen embryo's. I don't. I have to go thru all the hell all over again. See? There is a positive in this for you :) Hugs! Amy from NH
FUCK!! I am so sorry! That really sucks. {{HUGS}}
((HUGS))
That is a bunch of fucking bull shit. Thinking of you.
I'm so sorry. . . I've been thinking of you today and will continue to.
((hugs))
Well crap! I'm so sorry. Totally sucks. Break out the wine!! ((hugs))
Fuck Fuck Fuck! That really just sucks and there is nothing else to say but I am sorry!
((HUGS))
I'm so sorry. I've been there too many times and that is one call that truly sucks.
Shit. I'm so sorry.
Oh, holy hell...this is just not right! I'm so sorry Murgdan. Ihope things turn around with the next plan of attack.
So sorry. That really sucks. No other word for it.
Nothing to say, but I am so sorry. I hope the docs have a good strategy for your next cycle, and glad it is paid for. So so sorry.
Fuck
(((hugs)))
So, so sorry. I had high hopes. Will you be moving directly into another cycle or taking a bit of a break?
Either way, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Jo
I'm sorry, IVF BFN's are the worst.
(((HUGS)))
Oh no, I'm so sorry Murgdan. :(
sucks! Absolutely sucks!
So sorry, hon! Will you do another fresh cycle before using your embryo-pops?
Fuck. So sorry.
I'm so sorry Murgdan. I know how bad this hurts. Please know that you and your DH are in my thoughts.
I'm so sorry Cindy, I hope it works next time. I've got a friend who it took her 3rd fresh cycle to finally get pg with twin boys. Don't give up, it will happen. It has to, it's not fair! Enjoy your Cosmo cause you won't be drinking anymore next month!!
I am so so sorry. Thinking of you.
DAMMIT!!
I am so sorry!!
I am SO sorry, sweetie! *hugs*
Fuck is right, babe. I'm so sorry :-( and sad for you both right now. Hugs xx
http://allthelittleponies.blogspot.com
I'm so sorry hon! HUGS! Email if you need to talk. This really sucks.
Damn. I'm so sorry for your BFN. Life isn't fair. There are no other good words. But I'm thinking of you.
You took the words (well, one word anyway)right out of my mouth:
FUCK!
There really isn't anything else to say is there.
I'm so sorry. Sending you many, many hugs.
I am sorry M.
I'm so sorry. I know you were sort of expecting this, but it still stings. (((hugs)))
I am so sorry. I feel your pain and wish that it didn't turn out this way.
I hope the RE can give you insight at your next appt.
Thinking of you.
Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. This sucks big time.
I am so very sorry:( There are no words that will make you feel better, just know that we are all here for you.
I'm not gonna sugar-coat it, the next few weeks are gonna suck:( hang in there.
It's such a crapshoot... and such a goddamn expensive crapshoot... I'm so so sorry. This sucks massively.
I am so sorry. Nothing I could say makes this any easier, I know. Thinking of you tonight.
I am so sorry... (hugs)
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is so not fair.
I'm so very sorry Murgdan. ((HUGS))
Ah crap. I'm so, so sorry.
I'm so sorry Murgdan.
Fuck it Cindy! This totally sux! I'm so sorry!!! (((hugs)))
Damn, damn, damn. Hate this.
I mean the following to be hope inspiring, but if it's too soon...please know that I know all too well the heartache of the first days following a failed cycle.
My IVF #1 didn't work last month and it rocked me, but I am now able to put hope in my frozens. And I hope you do, too, with your two awesome Expanded Blastocyts waiting for you.
You mentioned your RE and Embryologist are meeting. You had an awesome egg retrieval (21 eggs!! I had the same # retrieved and was totally shocked) and your fertilization rate was exceptional. I do wonder why your clinic only freezes the Expanding Blastocysts, why not the other Blastocysts, too? I know sometimes it's the frozen "Grade 2 or B's" that do the trick. I know you have another Fresh Cycle in your plan down the road (which, fingers crossed, you won't even need it), but maybe it's worth asking?
I am keeping faith in your frozens. My hope in my own frozens and the thought of my own fresh IVF #2 plan are what keep me going.
Am so very sorry.
Again, sometimes you just need a good shout/cry/and why the fuck me???
But my hope for you is that this can be followed by some hope.
Thinking of you.
I'm so so sorry to read this Murgdan. Drink many cosmos.
Ugly! So very sorry!
Really sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself.
so not right. i would mail you a mountain of profiteroles if i knew the mailman wouldn't eat it first...
f&ck is right.
Fucking shit!
Fuck fuck fuck.
I'm so sorry
Damn. NOT what I was hoping to hear... I'm so sorry. I hope your RE and embryologist have a good plan in the works for your next cycle (thank G-d it's at least paid for, right?!)
I am so sorry......big hugs your way.
Sorry to hear this Murgdan. Hugs to you.
That sucks, Murgdan.
That's totally f**ked. I have been thinking about you and your beta and praying you would get the other answer - so sorry you haven't.
:o(
i echo the many other people who commented. i'm so sorry to hear this. :(
FUCK!!!!! I'm SO sorry honey, this sucks so bad. Thinking of you, be good to yourself.
xxx
What everyone else said. So, so sorry about this.
I am so sorry to hear this. I know how much a negative stings. :(
I'm so sorry.
I'm delurking to tell you, cold comfort though it may be. I found your blog some time ago, and was attracted by your balls-to-the-wall, unapologetically reasonable and honest style. I felt as though you were a close friend, telling me what was too painful to tell some others. I can't tell you how much I hoped you would be one of those happy, lucky people who got a positive the first time. Even though it doesn't help at all, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. That blows in a way that no one can understand unless they've been through it. I hope you had some adult beverages handy.
(((HUGS)))
Here from LFCA, so sorry.
Very sorry about the negative. It sucks. Take care of yourself.
There are specific foods that you and hubby can eat that play a huge role in fertility. 1 of my clients got pregnant adding tons of produce to her diet after 2 wks and had previously been trying for 8 yrs!
SUCK! Thinking of you, Murgdan!
I'm so sorry.
so very sorry...
Dear Joy who told me I should just eat more fucking produce if I want to get pregnant,
Thank you so much for your ever so helpful comment. I will suggest 'produce' as a cure for severe MFI at my next RE appointment. Wow. Why didn't I think of that before I went through IVF? You are so smart. You are so helpful. I wish I had known you before.
I formally invite you to never comment again.
Get a clue before you comment about things you know nothing about.
Ignorace.
Shit.
I'm so sorry.
And yes, that comment from Joy was truly obnoxious.
Wow, I loathe unbridled ignorance.
Joy, seriously--the "cure" for severe MFI is IVF/ICSI. Period. I will resist the temptation to tell you where to put your "miracle produce". Hint: it isn't the refrigerator.
Sorry, Cindy--you sure don't need that kind of BS right now. I think a failed cycle is quite enough crap for one woman to take. Hope things are looking at least a tiny bit better today, but have an extra cosmo just in case. Take care.
Just coming back to give you some more {{{{HUGS}}}. I hope you are doing okay.
I am so sorry.
OMG! Joy's comment made me furious! It's like what my FIL (father-in-law) recommended: eat more fat. Apparently an American woman who struggled with IF for a long time got pregnant after moving to France and eating more fat (and then published a book about it). What? Excuse me? Has anyone heard of causation, or even just correlation? Controlled studies? Anyone?
Western medical science is still so limited in its knowledge and treatment of IF. It's like the more we know, the less we realize we know. There are plenty of people living extremely risky lifestyles (definitely not eating any greens) who get pregnant on a snap. On the other end of the continuum are those of us who are model nutrition nazi eaters who have great difficulty getting pregnant.
WTF.
Hugs, hugs and more hugs! Ignore Joy, apparently she didnt get the clue when she was on the latest reality TV show (Trading Spouses, I think).
As an earlier comment said, when you are ready, have faith in your frozens. I know when you are ready, you will be back and you will get the support you need!
I wish I could share a Cosmo with you!
So incredibly sorry... :(
((((Hugs))))
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