When we first started TTC I joined a TTC message board, assuming I would be just like everyone else. The first month we tried, I, of course, assumed I was pregnant. When I got my period I just chalked it up to 'Beginner's Un-Luck' and moved on with my life, ready to try again.
There were people on that board who had been trying for 6 months to get pregnant. I thought, oh my god I just don't know how they do it. I'm sure I would go crazy if it took me six months to get pregnant. Luckily that won't be me...I'll get pregnant right away.
When I reached 6 months of TTC I thought, eh, well...it's normal to take 'up to a year' to get pregnant. I know plenty of people who tried for 9 or 10 months and then 'boom'...they were knocked up. I'm totally normal.
There was a thread on that board of people who had been trying for one year to get pregnant. I used to read through it thinking, oh my god. I don't know how they do it. I would go crazy if it took us a year. I don't think I could go on. How depressing. Luckily that won't be me...I'll be pregnant within the next few months.
As my fellow TTC-ers who had not yet gotten knocked up started getting tested, their results were rolling in as well. When I would hear about a low sperm count, my stomach would drop. When I heard tales of fertility drugs and IUIs, my eyes would grow round. When I heard of people who needed IVF, I would panic. I was thinking, Oh thank god that's not me. Our tests are going to be fine. If I had to go through what these people are going through I don't think I could survive. I would probably go crazy. I couldn't take it. I would be so sad. My life would be over. What would we do?
Despite all these so called "milestones" that I had in the back of my mind, that I dreaded...here I am. I am not crazy. I have survived. This is all just part of life 'as we know it'. I looked at those people who were so far ahead of me in TTC time...and I 'caught up' to them in a sense. Their world wasn't all that I thought it would be. It isn't all doom and gloom and sadness. I still laugh. I still live. Infertility has just become a part of all of that. Here it's just standard quo.